What is polyamory?
Polyamory means loving more than one person. It encompasses a variety of unique ways to combine love or form relationships with more than one individual. Interestingly, because polyamory is not mainstream or the norm, there are no strict guidelines defining what it is or isn't. This flexibility allows individuals to decide whether they want to participate and what kind of polyamorous relationships suit them best.
Exploring different forms of polyamory
Polyamory can take many forms, such as open marriages, swinging, and throuples. Each type offers its own dynamic and structure, allowing for a wide range of experiences and expressions of love.
What is solo poly?
Among the various forms of polyamory, solo poly stands out as a unique approach. Solo poly means having no desires, intentions, or plans to marry or participate exclusively in a relationship. It's similar to dating in that no person has authority over you to dictate who you can or cannot date, as exclusivity is never given.
Living as solo poly
Being solo poly is akin to being single, with the freedom to do whatever you like, as long as you are open and honest where it matters. Solo poly means living your life in a relationship with yourself. I like to think of it as being committed to loving myself first and foremost, always more than I love anybody else. By loving myself first, I ensure that I never give up my freedom of self-expression and the joy I get from being free: being able to date, meet new people, travel, and have various types of relationships, from brief connections to lifelong ones.
The importance of communication in solo poly relationships
It is crucial to communicate upfront that you do not believe in, support, or participate in monogamy. Most people, once they get to know you and want more of you, naturally will want, expect, or request exclusivity. By stating your stance on polyamory and monogamy from the beginning, you set the groundwork for what to expect in the relationship.
Maintaining separate relationships
Solo poly also means keeping relationships separate. There is no expectation that if you're in a relationship with me, another person would be invited into our relationship. Our relationship remains just between you and me unless we mutually decide to add another person. However, even with an added individual, there will be no expectations of exclusivity or monogamy.
The freedom of solo poly
Essentially, if you want to date me, you must be okay with me dating others as well, not just in the early stages, but always. No matter how much you like me, you can't have me all to yourself, because I don't let people have me all to themselves. I have me all to myself. If you had me all to yourself, then there wouldn't be enough of me left for me.
Believing in limitless love
I believe love should not be limited. I believe in love that is limitless, in loving without boundaries. I believe in loving someone so much that you don't tell them they can't love anybody else. This approach might sound unconventional to some, but it's a way of life that brings immense happiness and fulfillment.
Embracing solo poly
One of the best parts about being solo poly is the freedom to explore interests and passions. Whether it's traveling, meeting new people, or trying out new hobbies, you get to experience life to the fullest without the constraints of traditional relationship expectations. And remember, being solo poly doesn't mean you're alone. It means you're choosing to prioritize your happiness and well-being, allowing you to give more authentic love and support to the people in your life.
If you're exploring what relationship style fits you, therapy can be a supportive, non-judgmental place to think it through. Reach out anytime →
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